A based man in a cringe place can make all of the difference in the world.
Rise and shine Mr. Basedman, rise and shine. Not that I wish to imply that you have been sleeping on the job. No one is more deserving of a rest than you. And all the effort in the world would have gone to waste until.... Well let's just say your hour has come again. A Based man in a Cringe place can make all the difference in the world.
So, wake up Mr. Basedman wake up and smell the Cringe...
[TRAIN HORNS]
CITIZEN 1: I Didn't see you get on.
CITIZEN 2: This is my third transfer this year. No matter how many times I get relocated I never get used to it.
[Basedman STEPS OUT OF TRAIN]
[HIS ATTENTION IS DRAWN TOWARDS A LARGE SCREEN WITH AN AGED MAN KNOWN AS DR.CRINGE]
DR.CRINGE: Welcome. Welcome, to City 17. You have chosen, or been chosen, to relocate to one of our finest remaining urban centers. I thought so much of City 17, that I elected to establish my administration, here, in the citadel, so thoughtfully provided by our benefactors. I am proud to call City 17 my home. And so, whether you are here to stay, or passing through to parts unknown, welcome, to City 17. It's safer here.
CRINGE PATROL: First warning move away.
CITIZEN 3: It, it's all I have left.
(The Based Patrol shoves the citizen into his luggage)
CRINGE PATROL: Move it
CITIZEN 3: Alright, alright I am moving, jeez.
CITIZEN 4: Were you the only ones on that train? The Mainstream Media stopped our train in the woods and took my husband because they thought he was being based. They said he would be on the next train; I am not sure when that was. They are being nice and letting me wait though.
CITIZEN 5: Don't drink the water, they, they put something in it to make you become cringe, I don't even remember who Filthy Frank is...
CITIZEN 6: Dr. Cringe again? I was hoping I had seen the last of him in City 14.
CITIZEN 7: I wouldn't say that to loud, this is his base of operations.
(Basedman looks down to the end of the checkpoint where he sees citizens being led through)
CRINGE PATROL 2: You, Citizen come with me.
CITIZEN 8: Wai, Wait a minute where are you...
CRINGE PATROL 2: GET IN HERE!
CRINGE PATROL 2: Go on!
CITIZEN 8: ME?
CRINGE PATROL 2: I SAID MOVE!
(Basedman comes to a fenced in area, a Cringe patrolman blocks his path, he goes
the other way and when he enters the caged area both doors shut and an alarm
sounds, he is scanned by a camera).
CRINGE PATROL 3: Don't move hold it!
(The side door opens)
CRINGE PATROL 4: You citizen, come with me.
(Basedman follows him down a hallway, as he looks into a room, he can see a citizen being interrogated)
CITIZEN 9: This must be a mistake; I got a standard relocation coupon just like everyone else!
(Before Basedman can see anything more the cringe patrolman in this room shuts
the viewing slot on the door)
(Basedman follows CRINGE PATROL 4 down to the next room; CRINGE PATROL 4 knocks on door before getting let in by CRINGE PATROL 5)
CRINGE PATROL 4: Get in!
CRINGE PATROL 5: Need any help with this one?
CRINGE PATROL 4: No, I'm good.
CRINGE PATROL 4: Yeah, I'm gonna need me some privacy for this!
CRINGE PATROL 4..?: Now... about that beer I owed ya.
Base-ney: It's me, Gordon! Base-ney from Based Mesa.
Base-ney: Hey, sorry for the scare. I had to put on a show for the cameras.
Base-ney: I've been working undercover with Cringe Protection. I can't take too long, or they'll get SUSpicious. I'm way behind on my cringe post quota.
Dr. Recliner: Yes, Base-ney, what is it? I'm in the middle of a critical test!
Base-ney: Sorry, Doc, but look who's here.
Dr. Recliner: Great Scott! Gordon Basedman! I expected more warning.
Base-ney: Yeah, you and me both, Doc. He was about to board the Express to Nova Cringespekt.
Dr. Recliner: Well, Base-ney, what do you intend?
Base-ney: I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
Dr. Recliner: Alyx is around here somewhere. She would have a better idea how to get him here.
Base-ney: Well, as long as he stays away from cringe-points we should be okay.
Base-ney: Listen, I gotta go, Doc. We're taking enough chances as it is.
Dr. Recliner: Very well. And, eh, Gordon? Good to see you!
Base-ney: Okay, Gordon you're gonna have to make your own way to Dr. Recliner's lab.
[Knock knock knock!]
Base-ney: Oh man, that's what I was afraid of. Get in here, Gordon, before you blow my cover.
(Base-ney opens the back door for Gordon to escape the CRINGE PATROL)
Base-ney: Pile up some stuff to get through that window and keep going till you're in the plaza.
Base-ney: I'll meet up with you later.
(Gordon then stacks some boxes on top of each other to climb out of a window, and then opens a door to begin making his way to the plaza.)
TO BE CONTINUED
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