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| I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you. |
A Virginian, a Californian, and a New Yorker are all in Kuwait, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Kuwaiti police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Kuwait, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death!
However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Kuwaiti national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping".
The Californian was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back. This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done the Californian had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The New Yorker was next up. After watching the Californian in horror, he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the New Yorker was soon led away whimpering loudly.
The Virginian was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from one of the most beautiful parts of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. Your people a little 'different' from the rest of the Americans. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank ya kindly, sir, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the Virginian replied with a Southern drawl. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and a powerful man, but you are also very brave," the Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheikh asked.
The Virginian smiled with a smirk and said, "Tie the New Yorker to my back." ๐
Image: ©Storyteller/ร Firestone
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