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| What's faster than a Black kid running down the street with your TV? His brother with your Xbox. |
This story is Not Safe for Work and may contain mature material some readers may not find suitable.
There was this Black boy named June, he was a kind and sweet little boy, but he always gets into mischief. He was running around in the Roanoke neighborhood streets as he dodged the upcoming bullets like it was nothing.
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour onto his head.
He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a White boy!”
His mother smacks him and says loudly to him, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!”
The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a White boy!”
His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies,
“I’ve only been a White boy for five minutes and I already hate you Black people!”
Then the next day the young boy went to church with his mother. Midway through the service, the boy loudly said "Mama, I have to pee!"
After taking him to the bathroom, his mother said "It's rude to say 'pee' in public like this. Next time in church, just say you have to 'whisper.'"
The following week, the boy went to church with his father instead. As the service ended, the boy looked up at his father and said "Daddy, I have to whisper!"
And the father said, "Well, OK- just whisper in my ear."
After that embarrassment, the boy and his father are on a plane headed from Roanoke to San Fransico. for a family reunion for Juneteenth as the boy's mother was waiting for them.
"Oh boy, California! Can't wait to see the Golden Gate Bridge!" said the boy.
"Get used to it son, we're gonna live there!", said the father.
"But why?"
"Because of reparations son, California passed a law were each Black man gets one million dollars!"
"Oh boy, we're gonna be rich!"
"Damn right son!"
"But pa, who's paying us?"
"The Californian government."
"And how does the government get the money?"
"Through tax money."
"Then where does tax money come from?"
"The tax payers."
"Then who's the tax payers?"
"The White man."
"If they're paying for it and we're not, don't ya think that's unfair?"
"Oh shut up boy and go occupy yourself 'til we get there!"
Then the plane was starting to leak fuel while in mid-air, so the crew throws out all the baggage to save weight. But the plane still needs to reach the airport. So the flight attendant comes on the intercom and announces that to save as many as possible, they have to eject a few people, sacrificing them so that the others may live. To be as fair as possible, they say, they will go alphabetically.
"So... are there any African-Americans on the plane? No? Ok.
Are there any Arabs on the plane? No?"
Are you sure? We really have no African-Americans or Arabs on the plane?
How about Colored people?"
And the kid says "Daddy, aren't we all of those things?"
And the dad says "No son, today we're niggas. I refuse to go before the Hispanics!"
And the Hispanic behind him yells "Fuck you, I'm a wetback today!"
Image: ©ร Firestone/Storyteller
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