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| I just read that in Richmond, someone gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy. |
For over the past week, there have been robberies throughout Virginia's capitol, Richmond.
No one knows who or why this was happening. It was all over the news, that many items were being stolen from jewelry to the sacred golden mace from the assembly building.
So, the Governor called a state of emergency in a state-wide television broadcast. Every Virginian throughout the commonwealth was watching.
The Governor spoke, "My fellow Virginians, these robberies have been a nuisance in the commonwealth's capitol.
As it has drained our tax payer's resources, the Richmond Police, State Police, and the BCI are extremely overwhelmed that the thieves took their donut supplies.
Our government cannot even function without our sacred golden mace; how are we Republicans and Democrats supposed to have our drunken uni-party!
We do not tolerate any thief that steals from us or our neighbors. There is no honor among thieves...except for me and my colleagues.
In my final words, to the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, we will find you. You have my word!"
A well-dressed man was in the bar watching the Governor's speech. The bartender asked the man, you okay, you look down.
The well-dressed man replied, "I had my credit card stolen the other day, but I didn't bother to report it because the thief spends less than my wife."
"Oh...that's a bummer. The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family."
"I'm really sorry for your loss. May your memories bring peace, comfort, and amusement to his grieving family."
"He was my priest."
"What a good guy, he took your secrets to his grave!"
It was late at night in downtown Richmond and the well-dressed man went out to smoke in an alley behind a bar.
As he was smoking, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped out from behind a dumpster and pointed a gun at him.
"Give me all your money!" he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can’t do this – I’m a Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!"
Story & Image: ©ร Firestone / Storyteller
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