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| And it's not Bud Light! |
Bob and Frank are sitting in a bar, enjoying beers for the first time, after a hard day of work at a farm.
The local bar's TV was on, and there was an advertisement from a local college saying,
"Are you tired of working in a low-pay job at a dumb old dump? Do you want to learn something new to help you get a better high-paying job? Then look no further and come on over to our Overlook College, where learning is key.
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success. Why did the Sun skip college? Because it already has a million degrees. And you can have one too, by applying today!"
Frank turns to Bob, and says, "You know what, I'm going to go to college!"
"But Frank, college is expensive, by the end of the year all of your parent's money would be gone. It's a waste of time and money!"
"Oh, nonsense. I think you're jealous. I even heard they have a program that lets students earn their tuition by working in the on-campus bakery. The opportunity isn’t open to everyone. It’s run on a strictly knead-to-know basis.."
Then Bob replied, "Oh, I guess that's why the Mayflower Pilgrims went to College on Scholar-ships"
He then leaves the bar and makes his way over to the local college to apply. He is met with the Dean of Administration, who is explaining to Frank what classes he is going to take.
"Alright, Frank. You are going to take 4 classes," the Dean says. "English, Math, Science, and Logic."
"Logic?" Frank asks. "What the hell is that?"
"Here, I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed wacker?"
Proudly, Frank responded, "Yes, I do."
"Well, if you own a weed wacker, then logically speaking you own a lawn," the Dean said.
"Yes, yes I do have a lawn!"
"Well, if you have a lawn, then logically speaking you own a house."
"Yes, yes I do have a house!"
"And if you have a house, then logically speaking you have a family."
"Yes, yes I do have a family!"
"And if you have a family, then logically speaking you have a wife. And if you have a wife, then logically speaking you're heterosexual."
"Yes, yes I do have a wife and I am heterosexual! Wow, I can't believe you found out all of that just because you knew I had a weed wacker!" Frank exclaimed.
"Yeah, that's what logic is," the Dean responded. Frank excitedly went back to the bar, awaited by Bob.
"Bob, I'm taking 4 classes in college. English, Math, Science, and Logic," Frank told Bob.
"Logic?" Bob asks. "What the hell is that?"
"Here, I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed wacker?"
"No."
"Bob, are you a faggot?"
Source - Image: ©Æ Firestone/Storyteller
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