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| They say St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I wonder if he could do that for Congress. |
So there was an Irishman who ran a Bed & Breakfast in the countryside named Shaun. One morning, a leprechaun walked into Shaun's B&B and asked for a banana and a five-cent euro coin. Shaun obliged the leprechaun and sent him on his way.
The next day, the leprechaun was back, again asking for a banana and a five-cent euro coin. Again, Shaun provided him with both.
On the third day, Shaun's banana supplies were running dangerously low. The leprechaun once again walked in, but Shaun said he could only give him half of a banana and a five-cent euro. The leprechaun accepted those and left.
The next morning, Shaun checked the unoccupied bedrooms (as is the won't of any B&B proprietor worth his rustic countryside location) and noticed the bedspread was slightly ruffled. Puzzled, as he knew it was perfectly crisp the day previous, he straightened it out and went about his business. He reached the front desk.
The leprechaun was there.
Once more the leprechaun requested his tithe of tropical fruit and minor change, but Shaun only had a quarter of a banana left in the whole building by then, and he was saving it for his lunch. Still, he didn't want to upset the leprechaun and risk losing the valuable Sidhe customers that kept his establishment afloat between tourist seasons, so he gave it to the leprechaun.
When Shaun checked the open bedrooms the following morning, he was shocked to discover that the bedroom with the mysteriously ruffled bedspread only twenty-four hours previous was trashed. All the furniture was only vaguely identifiable as furniture, it looked like it would be much more at home in a dump. The windows, as were the mirrors, and neon yellow spray paint on every wall was shattered. In a state of shock, Shaun headed to the front desk to see him. Shaun exploded at the leprechaun, refusing to give him any more bananas or coins. In an angry puff of fruity smoke, the leprechaun vanished.
That evening, Shaun went to a pub, needing a few very strong drinks after the whole affair. He got them and headed back to his B&B. When he arrived, it was not there, replaced by a smoldering crater and the wreckage of his beloved Bed & Breakfast and a few charred corpses of one-time guests of his. Shaun stood there in shock for a few seconds before the leprechaun walked up and stood beside him. Shaun asked the leprechaun if he was the one who ruffled the bedspread.
"Yes," said the leprechaun.
Shaun asked if he destroyed the furniture and painted all the walls.
"Yes," answered the leprechaun.
Shaun asked if he blew up the Bed & Breakfast.
"Yes," replied the leprechaun.
Shaun asked why he always wanted a banana and a five-cent euro coin. Shaun asked why he retaliated with increasingly violent backlash when he did not receive a whole banana. Shaun asked why he blew up Shaun's livelihood.
"I can tell you," answered the leprechaun, "but you must promise me first that you will never speak of it to another living soul for as long as you live."
Shaun agreed.
And what the leprechaun told Shaun, we will never know, because Shaun kept his promise and died without telling a single living soul.
Image: Storyteller/Shutterstock
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