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| Why do moths like the light? Because if they liked the dark, they’d be goths. |
One day, a Moth visits the Podiatriat's office.
The podiatrist says, "What seems to be the problem today?"
Moth says, "What seems to be the problem? Where do I begin?!
"I slave away all day at a job I hate and barely bring home enough to pay the bills. I'm going to have to get a second job just to keep the lights on. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I don't think my boss knows. All that bastard Mothovich knows is that he has power over me, and I think that gives him pleasure.
"I wake up every day in a malaise, and move around like a mindless worker bee. I don't eat. I can't sleep. I spend most days trying to drink enough to stay numb to the pain of it all.
"Sometimes I'll wake in the middle of the night and turn to see this woman who I married, lying next to me. My Mothette... But then I realize that I don't even know her anymore. I'm sharing my bed with a stranger. We were never the same after our little Mothalina fell ill last Winter. We lost her to the cold and the fever...as we lost so many others.
"The worst part of it all is that everytime I look at my son, Moth Jr, I think of how much I hate him. When I look in his face, all I see is cowardice. It's the same cowardice I see everytime I look in the god damn mirror. I think what if that cowardice were just a little bit stronger? Maybe then I would reach for that loaded gun I keep next to my bed and end it all."
There was a long, uncomfortable silence...
Moth says, "I don't know doc. Sometimes I feel like a spider, rather than a moth. Like I'm dangling over a ravine, barely able to cling to the barest thread of the web that I've strung."
The podiatrist says, "I don't know what to say, Moth. You are deeply troubled. But you need a counselor, not a podiatrist. Why the hell did you come in here?"
"Meh," Moth says. "Your light was on."
Author: Norm Macdonald - Image: ©Æ Firestone
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