👵🏻 NSFW: An Elderly Lady Winds up in Court for Murder...

   

  A sweet old lady is accused of murder and now she is in the witness stand under oath before the English court to tell her side of the story.

Defence barrister: "Will you please state your full name."

Agatha: "Agatha Louise Hewson."

Defence barrister: "Will you please state your age."

Agatha: "I am 94 years old."

Defence barrister: "Will you tell us in your own words what happened on the night in question."

Agatha: "I was sitting on my garden swing on my front verandah. It was a warm spring evening, when a young man crept up on the verandah and sat down beside me."

Defence barrister: "Did you know him?"

Agatha: "No, but he was really friendly."

Defence barrister: "What happened after he sat down?"

Agatha: "He started to rub my thigh."

Defence barrister: "Did you stop him?"

Agatha: "No, I didn't stop him."

Defence barrister: "Why didn't you stop him?"

Agatha: "It felt so good and nobody had done that since my husband George died almost 35 years ago."

Defence barrister: "What happened next?"

Agatha: "He began to rub all over my body."

Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him then?"

Agatha: "No, I didn't stop him."

Defence barrister: "Why didn't you stop him?"

Agatha: ''Because he made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in so many years!"

Defence barrister: "What happened next?"

Agatha: "Well, by this time I was feeling so excited that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man, take me now!'"

Defence barrister: "And tell me, did he take you?"

Agatha: 'Lord no!..... He just yelled April Fool and that's when I shot him, the little bastard."

Image: Shutterstock