A sweet old lady is accused of murder and now she is in the witness stand under oath before the English court to tell her side of the story.
Defence barrister: "Will you please state your full name."
Agatha: "Agatha Louise Hewson."
Defence barrister: "Will you please state your age."
Agatha: "I am 94 years old."
Defence barrister: "Will you tell us in your own words what happened on the night in question."
Agatha: "I was sitting on my garden swing on my front verandah. It was a warm spring evening, when a young man crept up on the verandah and sat down beside me."
Defence barrister: "Did you know him?"
Agatha: "No, but he was really friendly."
Defence barrister: "What happened after he sat down?"
Agatha: "He started to rub my thigh."
Defence barrister: "Did you stop him?"
Agatha: "No, I didn't stop him."
Defence barrister: "Why didn't you stop him?"
Agatha: "It felt so good and nobody had done that since my husband George died almost 35 years ago."
Defence barrister: "What happened next?"
Agatha: "He began to rub all over my body."
Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him then?"
Agatha: "No, I didn't stop him."
Defence barrister: "Why didn't you stop him?"
Agatha: ''Because he made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in so many years!"
Defence barrister: "What happened next?"
Agatha: "Well, by this time I was feeling so excited that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man, take me now!'"
Defence barrister: "And tell me, did he take you?"
Agatha: 'Lord no!..... He just yelled April Fool and that's when I shot him, the little bastard."
Image: Shutterstock
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